I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This show inspires me to have sex in space
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
