plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was confusing and full of hummus
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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