my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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