you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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