There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
