She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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