I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
