Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
