At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
