Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
time to smoke my breakfast
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
