Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
