so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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