omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm getting married
To pizza
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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