Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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