It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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