She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I believe in your delicious
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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