he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
