She is in my trunk
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
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