she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
