I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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