I hate your face
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
