The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm always down for nudity.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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