Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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