IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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