Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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