there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
