Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
