I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
