wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
