are you still at the devil's house?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
