So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
