Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
