Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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