You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
