He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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