end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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