I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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