SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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