Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
