And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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