some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
