Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
