i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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