Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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