I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
