You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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