i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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