guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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