I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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