Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
