my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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