K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
