So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
