I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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