very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
