My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
