Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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