bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
