fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
