Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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