I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
