i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
