Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
