direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
