She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
