I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
