This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
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Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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